Archive for the ‘Funnies’ Category

Runaway Elephant Goes on Gentle Rampage in Switzerland

June 9, 2010

Sabu, a five-ton elephant, escaped from the circus and wandered through Zurich last night, terrifying locals but doing surprisingly little damage. Sabu swam in Lake Zurich and was filmed strolling through the city’s shopping and financial districts.

Sabu’s traveling circus was loading him into a truck when he bolted. He swam through Lake Zurich, then wandered up the Swiss city’s main Bahnhofstrasse, past the train station and Credit Suisse.

It took an hour to re-capture Sabu. Authorities were amazed at how little damage he did: “The elephant was walking slowly and calmy through the city. He didn’t run, didn’t chase anyone, he caused very little damage and no one was hurt.”

Source: gawker.com

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Red wine and fish – The mismatch explained

June 8, 2010

“Red wine with red meat, white wine with fish” is one of the standard and well known wine pairing rules and Japanese scientists has found ‘evidence’ to back this rule.

Scientists in Japan have claimed that the unpleasant, fishy aftertaste noticeable when consuming red wine with fish results from naturally occurring iron in red wine.

Takayuki Tamura and colleagues note that wine connoisseurs established the rule of thumb because of the flavour clash between red wine and fish. They point out, however, that there are exceptions to the rule, with some red wines actually going well with seafood. Until now, nobody could consistently predict which wines might trigger a fishy aftertaste because of the lack of knowledge about its cause.

The scientists asked wine tasters to sample 38 red wines and 26 white wines while dining on scallops. Some of the wines contained small amounts of iron, which varied by country of origin, variety, and vintage.

They found that wines with high amounts of iron had a more intensely fishy aftertaste. This fishy taste diminished, on the other hand, when the researchers added a substance that binds up iron.

The findings indicate that iron is the key factor in the fishy aftertaste of wine-seafood pairings, the researchers say, suggesting that low-iron red wines might be a good match with seafood.

Read more on zeenews.com

Cartoon:

The history of Elephant jokes

May 24, 2010

Elephant jokes have been around for many a year but where does it come from and is there a specific formula?

Elephant jokes have been described as the  following:

 An elephant joke is a joke, almost always an absurd riddle or conundrum and often a sequence of such, that involves an elephant. Elephant jokes were a fad in the 1960s, with many people constructing large numbers of them according to a set formula. Sometimes they involve parodies or puns.

Two examples of elephant jokes are:

Q: How can you tell that an elephant is in the bathtub with you?

A: By the smell of peanuts on its breath.

Q: Why do elephants paint their toes yellow?

A: So they can hide upside down in the custard.

Elephant jokes first appeared in the United States in 1962. They were first recorded in the Summer of 1962 in Texas, and gradually spread across the U.S., reaching California in January/February 1963. By July 1963, elephant jokes were ubiquitous and could be found in newspaper columns, and in TIME and Seventeen magazines, with millions of people working to construct more jokes according to the same formula.

Both elephant jokes and Tom Swifties were in vogue in 1963, and were reported in the U.S. national press. Whilst the appeal of Tom Swifties was to children, and gradually faded over subsequent decades, the appeal of elephant jokes was mainly to literate adults, and has lasted. Elephant jokes began circulation primarily amongst professors, and have been discovered afresh by subsequent generations of adults, remaining, in Isaac Asimov’s words “favourites of intellectuals and of sophisticated adults”.

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Cheesy Cartoons

March 18, 2010

I thought these ‘Cheesy Cartoons’ are really funny.

Fooling the professor – Joke

March 11, 2010

Two University seniors had a week of exams coming up. However, they decided to party instead. So, when they went to the test, they decided to tell the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tyre and they needed a bit more time to study.

The professor told them that they could have another day to study. That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.

Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to separate classrooms to take the exam. Each shrugged and went to two different parts of the building. As each sat down, they read the first question.

“For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom.”

At this point, they both thought that this was going to be a piece of cake, and answered the question with ease.

Then, the test continued… “For 95 points, tell me which tyre it was.”

Elephant jokes

February 25, 2010

Here are some great elephant jokes:

An elephant always remembers, but what animal always forgets?
An owl, because ifs always saying “Who? Who?’

If an elephant crosses the road, rolls in the mud and crosses back again, what is it?
A dirty double-crosser.

If storks bring human babies, what bring baby elephants?
Cranes.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a dog?
An animal that remembers where it buried its bones.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a flea?
Lots of very worried dogs.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a ghost?
A big nothing.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a goldfish?
Swimming trunks.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a goose?
An animal that honks before it runs you over.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a gooseberry?
A pie that never forgets.

What did Mrs Elephant say to Mr Elephant?
I hear the thunder of tiny feet.’

What did the banana do when the elephant chased it?
The banana split.

What did the elephant say when it was bitten by a snake?
Nothing: elephants can’t talk.

For more elephant jokes visit elephantjokes.co.uk

Trick photos with old vinyl records

February 22, 2010

Here are a few great trick photos.

See what happens when people use sleeves from classic vinyl records to create thick photos.

More photos

A drink a day…

January 29, 2010


A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
Edward Abbey

Elephant jokes

January 14, 2010

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a budgie?
A messy cage.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a bus-driver?
A trunk an’ driver.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a cactus?
The biggest porcupine in the world.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a canary?
I don’t know, but when it sings, it makes a terrible noise!

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a caretaker?
A 2-ton corridor sweeper.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a cat?
Very scared mice.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a chicken?
Enough feathers to fill a duvet.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a cockerel?
An animal that wakes people living in the next town.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a computer?
A 4-ton know-all.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a cow?
I don’t know; but you have to stand up to milk it!

For more elephant jokes visit elephantjokes.co.uk

From Hemingway to Homer Simpson, everyone has an opinion on wine

January 11, 2010

Wine has fascinated people over the centuries. Here is few wine quotes from prominent persons. From Hemingway to Homer Simpson, everyone has an opinion on wine.

Wine is one of the most civilized things in the world and one of the most natural things of the world that has been brought to the greatest perfection, and it offers a greater range for enjoyment and appreciation than, possibly, any other purely sensory thing.
Ernest Hemingway

Wino Forever
Johnny Depp
(The tattoo once read ‘Winona Forever’!)

What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?
Isak Dinesen

Wine is bottled poetry.
Robert Louis Stevenson

Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.
Louis Pasteur

“Alcohol – the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems”
Homer Simpson